A topic obviously culled from my experiences this past weekend.
You meet someone online, things seem good, you set up a face to face. You have a pleasant meal, maybe play around a bit (no actual sex). A nice time had by all (or so you think). You part with no set expectations in mind aside from possible plans to meet up again in a couple weeks.
My question is, what is the expected etiquette at this point? In my mind, once I meet someone, I may not have a boatload of expectations, but I certainly expect common courtesy.
I know it might be difficult, but is it really too much to expect a thanks, but no thanks email if you decide (for whatever reason) that you don't wish to continue?
And yes, I know that NO response is a response.
Thoughts?
Breakfast in Bed
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The morning rose bright and unseasonably warm. The sun shone through the
thin gossamer curtains in our small cheap hotel room in dusty yellow beams.
The l...
10 years ago
I think if you go through all the trouble to meet them in person, you owe them a "good-bye" or "when do we meet again".
ReplyDeleteAn admin in a forum has asked all that contribute regularly to announce if they plan to leave the forum - so that people don't keep trying to communicate to that person.
You probably have to similarly suggest this rule: if we meet, you must communicate to me after the meeting what your intentions are - or something like that. what do you think?
Sometimes the reality does not live up to the fantasy.
ReplyDeleteSometimes there is a lie that can't be sustained in a real world relationship.
And sometimes they're just assholes.
Oh he emailed me about ten days later...said he'd been busy. There was no real explanation for why he had not contacted me or replied to my last two email. I have not responded. What's the point? Whatever the reason, he's shown himself to be someone who, when push comes to shove, is not a good communicator.
ReplyDeleteAs for Dave's suggestion:
ReplyDelete". . .if we meet, you must communicate to me after the meeting what your intentions are - or something like that. what do you think?"
I personally tend to make minimal demands. I prefer to give a man a *lot* of rope, because I want to see what he's going to do with it. Is he going to tie me up with it? Or is he going to hang himself?
A first meet requires courtesy on both sides. You are not collared at this point, the other is not your Dom/me...you are two people meeting for the first time. A relationship in anu lifestyle is built on trust and respect...how can someone who is an ass from the start every improve on that?
ReplyDeleteJustAGuy50
I've said this for years, that if I am interested in a relationship with you, I will have daily contact with you. If you don't hear from me in a 24 hour period. Call the ER, because it's likely I'm in a coma or worse. Anyone and I mean anyone can find 3 minutes to make a contact of some sort. Phone first, IM sencond, text third, and email 4th. Now if the desire or lack of desire has been established at the first meeting, then the communication protocol might be different to reflect that idea.
ReplyDelete